Who would have thought that loving and nurturing could be bad for any child? Yet, this is a fact! Too much love or at least expressing too much love can be very bad for your child. Being discreet about your love and allowing your children to grow, make mistakes, struggle, fall and get up again would be the wiser thing to do.
Greek mothers are among those who become their children’s shadow and pave their way so that no harm comes to them thus creating weak, indecisive, dependent human beings; one might easily compare all this attention to the bars of a prison cell.
Why is all this attention a bad thing?
The day will come when this child, who is hardly a child anymore, decides to break away and make a life for himself. The “bars” surrounding him though are too strong to break and he realizes that his mother is the person keeping him in this comfy “prison”.
So, what next?
Well, the man, who is forever a child in his mother’s eyes, begins to resent his “keeper”. He realizes that it is because of her that he cannot stand on his own two feet; he is totally dependent on her. The relationship then changes from one of complete love and devotion to one of resentment.
Greek mothers have always, since ancient times, been the stronger parent. The father being the only breadwinner, leaving all the responsibilities of bringing up the children and disciplining them to the mother.
A tough job to do!
Greek kids have always looked up to their mothers … until the day dawns when they realize that the bond is too strong to slowly let go … so they cut themselves free.
If, for some reason the child doesn’t take that initiative, believe me, the mother eventually does and that is the worst case scenario!!! She has to cut the “umbilical cord” connecting her and her children to her – the toughest decision she ever has to make.
This is devastating!
The child feels … rejected … not freed and that is the worst thing to do to your child.
The saying, “you have to be cruel to be kind” emerges or surfaces and there is some consolation in that …
The mother decides that she is not a “beast” by cutting her child free … she is in fact being … kind!
Children should always feel loved.
All in moderation though.
Rooted deep into the Greek culture, trying to change the ways of a Greek mother is almost impossible.